Saturday, November 12, 2005

Resume writing 201

Writing a resume is not an easy thing to do. Check it out...

Resume Mistakes (Robin Stevens)
How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:

"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

"Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

"I am a rabid typist."

"Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling
a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."

"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."

"Proven ability to trak down and correct erors."

"Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."

"I have become completely paranoid, trusting
completely nothing and absolutely no one."

"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."

"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

"Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant."

"I am loyal to my employer at all costs ... Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemanil."

"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

"Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"


Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"

5 Comments:

At Friday, November 11, 2005 2:47:00 PM, Blogger Winn said...

Thats creative writing!

I wld hire that person if i were the boss:P

 
At Saturday, November 12, 2005 1:36:00 AM, Blogger day-dreamer said...

*wiping tears from eyes* I can't stop laughing!!

Really funny!! I love it, especially the last one. "hear from you shorty"... Hahahahaha!

 
At Saturday, November 12, 2005 6:47:00 AM, Blogger humblewarrior said...

winn - You would? Are you sure????????

day-dreamer - Hahaha, there goes another resume!

 
At Sunday, November 13, 2005 2:17:00 AM, Blogger glutton rabbit said...

Very funny *LOL*. Must be careful when writing resume next time...

 
At Monday, November 14, 2005 12:34:00 AM, Blogger Gina said...

This is hilarious.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home