Thursday, November 03, 2005

putting up signs

We should be very careful when it comes to writing our thoughts on paper. See for yourself...

Badly Worded Signs (Erion Cano)

Outside a jeweller's shop:
Ears pierced while you wait

Outside an electrical store:
Why go elsewhere to be cheated when you can come in here!

Sign in a laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out

In a dress shop window:
Don't stand outside and faint - come in and have a fit

Sign in a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs

In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken

Outside a farm:
Horse manure: 50p per pre-packed bag, 20p do-it-yourself

In the window of a dry cleaner's:
Same day dry cleaning - all garments ready in 48 hours

At the zoo:
Please do not feed the elephants. If you have any peanuts or buns give them to the keeper on duty

In an office:
After teabreak staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board

Outside a furniture shop:
Our motto: We promise you the lowest prices and workmanship

Outside a photographer's studio:
Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also

Sign on a farm gate:
Dogs found worrying will be shot

In a restaurant:
Customers who find our waiting staff rude should see the manager

Outside a smart shop:
No children aloud

Seen outside a travel agency:
Why don't you go away?

Sign in a picture shop:
Let us put you in the picture and frame you

In an electrical shop:
Why smash your plates washing up? Let one of our dishwashers do it for you

In a cafe window:
Waitresses required for breakfast

Seen in a shop selling calculators and computers:
You can always count on us

Seen at an American undertaker's:
Oscar's Funeral Parlour - where you'll always find a smile

Notice in a London park:
No walking, sitting or playing on the grass in this pleasure park

Sign warning of quicksand:
Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council

Sign on a newly painted bench:
Wet paint. Watch it or wear it

Sign outside pet shop:
No dogs allowed

Sign on motorway garage:
Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is

Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below

4 Comments:

At Wednesday, November 02, 2005 6:56:00 PM, Blogger day-dreamer said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At Wednesday, November 02, 2005 7:01:00 PM, Blogger day-dreamer said...

Muahahahahahahaha! Interesting.

By the way, I've read one that sounds like this:

In a hotel at Bangkok: Please take advantage of our chambermaids.

:D

 
At Wednesday, November 02, 2005 9:30:00 PM, Blogger Gab said...

i take delight in reading this particular post. very funny.

day-dreamer: i read about that one before. my eyes nearly popped out then.

 
At Thursday, November 03, 2005 7:47:00 AM, Blogger humblewarrior said...

day-dreamer, gab - I am still laughing on the floor!!!!!!!!

 

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