Friday, October 28, 2005

The verdict is in.

Is having a job similar to doing time in a minimum security prison? To many of you who just looooooveeeee working, here's something for you!

Prison versus Work (By KJ Fowler)
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.

In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.

In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.
At work you are just ball-and-chained.

In prison you get your own loo.
At work you have to share.

In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.
At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic.
At work we have managers.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

didn't see that coming

A pair of Puma Vencida i FG blue soccer cleats - $49.99

A pair of Nike Classic green socks(yes that's right, dark green) - $6.95

Inadvertently scoring a goal for my opponents due to my carelessness - PRICELESS

There are some moments money can't buy, for everything else there's FORGIVNESS

a better way to say...

My old pal forwarded this joke to me. In my opinion it is extremely relevant to today's working world. Whether you're the boss or employee, working hard for a tiny or giant company, perhaps the memo below serves as a good reminder to you when it comes to communicating with colleagues. Oh... by the way, please excuse the use of vulgarity in the joke.


Memorandum
TO: All employees
FROM: The BIG BIG BIG boss
DATE: May 17, 2005
RE: Foul Language It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who are easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers. Therefore, a list of new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my @%$.

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
INSTEAD OF: Damn it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your @%$

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING: I see.
INSTEAD OF: Bite me.

TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF: Another @%$king meeting?

TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a damn.

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a @%$king prick. .

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: What the hell are you doing?

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Talk ain't cheap

If you think talk is cheap, think again! I read this very short article this morning and thought of sharing with you now. Check it out at TrumpTalk .

Now, hiring an attorney is a different story since you pay him/her to fight the case for you(which includes studying the case thoroughly, preparing the necessary paperwork AND speaking on your behalf etc). But for Mr.Trump, he was paid $416.66 per sec just to speak to a group of his fans.

So this is what I have in mind. Next time if you are emotionally and financially unstable(for whatever reasons) and you seek some "advice", please drop by and I'll talk to you without charging you a single cent.

By the way, I guarantee that our conversations are kept private, hahaha!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

people please!!!

Some people just don't listen, I guess! No no no, they have got ears that work fine, but it's just that they only want to hear what they think is right or make sense to them.

It's like telling them that 5lbs of gold is NOT heavier than 5lbs of cotton. There are some things in life that are very obvious and straight forward. Come on, I don't mine gold.

Friday, October 21, 2005

ASAP ii

I have the following message written up with lots of shorthand. If you can precisely decode it, you deserve a real nice meal from me. Trust me! You have my word! <--- "Yeah right, I have heard this before", hahaha...

Message on a voice machine:

Hey it's me, Joey! WTH, WWY? I waited 4 u @ the coffee house 4 45mins. DYNCAM? Were you JTB or you purposely SMU? U should have at least called me.FTTB, I will give u TBOD. So as soon as you get this message, EOPM. JSYK that I was so worried 4 u that I PIMP. HHVF
:( . TTFN.

PS: No vulgar words...

Thursday, October 20, 2005

ASAP

So we always want to save time and get things done not fast but faster. Many of us complain that we have no time for this and that, even when it comes to writing. We basically just want to relay messages to others by using the least words as possible.

One very obvious trend which I notice is how people love to use chat shorthand or message board abbreviation. Some examples are:
lol = laugh out loud
btw = by the way
gl= good luck
hago = have a good one
iat = i am tired
imho = in my humble opinion
wysiwyg = what you see is what you get

I have been thinking ...what if I come up with my own shorthand and popularize them. Posibble? I have randomly picked these alphabets. Can I make these into shorthands of phrases that we use in daily conversation?
orn
yhsol
cyg
yoy
rc

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

appreciation vs. honesty

I was out at the grocery store late evening. In about 25 mins I filled up the shopping basket with milk, bread ,eggs, fruits, veggie, meat and can foods. Of course, without further prolonging my stay at that jam-packed store, I immediately went to the checkout counter with the shortest line.

After finished paying the cashier, the grocery bagger handed me all my groceries. I walked to my blue VW and loaded all the plastic bags into the trunk. As I was putting down the last bag, I realized that the bag had 4 loaves bread in there. Knowing that I bought only 1 loave, I quickly checked my receipt to see whether they charged me for those breads.

Later on it was pretty clear that the bagger had accidently "rewarded" me with 3 extra loaves of bread. So being a honest guy(who?me?), I walked all the way back and returned those extras.

Me: Excuse me mam! I didn't buy these.
Bagger: Oh yeah? These are NOT yours?
Me: Nope.
Bagger: Ok. <--- End of conversation

Now, I'm not blogging about this so that I'll be awarded a medal for what I did. Let me get this right, wouldn't it be more polite for her to end the conversation with a sentence like "Thank you for...." then just "Ok." How come some people just can't show some appreciation? Or I shouldn't have expected a nice gesture in the first place since I didn't pay for those breads.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

you out of your mind?

Most of my XYand XX friends always debate with me over some interesting topics. This particular million-dollar topic actually came up over the weekend.

Since we all didn't come to an agreement(not sure if there'll be any) on this topic, I decided to bring this up to an independent and non-biased audience, that's you!

Remember, the following questions apply to everyone(single, dating, married). So here you go...

Do you think it's possible to have a GOOD BUDDY of the opposite sex? Why yes and why no?

Friday, October 14, 2005

keep an eye on the clock

32 mins ago I was 6th in line at the drive-thru pharmacy. And now I'm at 3rd spot. What's going on man? Still waiting for my turn to get to the pickup window so that I can get my prescription.

Don't really know how much longer will it be before I see the pharmacist. Oh boy, should I leave and come back later? Am I that impatient?

Arrrgghhh just how long is too long?

Thursday, October 13, 2005

just not a good time!

Let's be honest. I hear people say em' to me and and I say em' to people sometimes or most of the time...

The most common excuses that you could come up with to instantly end a conversation with a friend OR stranger over the phone are:

a) I gotta go. My boss is coming to my cubible. - not even at your office
b) I can't talk now. Will definately call you back. - no intention to
c) Hey man! Nature's call. I need to go to the bathroom. - bladder or
colon not even a quarter full
d) I am very busy. Can you call me later? - will never pick up the phone
later
e) You'll see me there if I plan to show up. - WHAT???

You know, the funny thing is often people will still "believe" us again and again although they have heard those excuses before.

Hey if you have better ones, do share with me.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I didn't do it, he did!

Aren't we all sometimes guilty of telling lies? We basically lie to either ourselves or to others. Lies require a lot of cognitive effort and energy. It is not an easy thing to do(note: I am NOT encouraging it) I should say. Why? You see, a liar always has to come out with ways or stories to cover up the truth by keeping silent or twisting and turning the truth. Some even go further than that...

Now how about the so called white lies and black lies? Any REAL differences between those two? Should we for whatever reason accept one and deny the other?

To me, a lie is always a lie!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Help me , help you?

I was out running errants yesterday afternoon. Cruising and enjoying some music in my car along this fine boulevard, I managed to pass 3 traffic lights before the 4th light turned red on me. Naturally being a responsible and careful driver, I stopped at the light and there I was 3rd in line.

I saw that there was this homeless man probably in his early forties holding a half-torn-up cardboard that says "Aren't you glad it's me & not you? Please help!" With his cardboard placed in front of this body, he walked back and forth along the road hoping that some drivers would offer him something.

This is a very common scene here in the city where I live. It doesn't matter whether it's 100F degrees or 40F degree, you'll see them out there. So,
When do we help and when not to help? (Not that there's anything wrong with helping...)

Saturday, October 08, 2005

No standing please!


Restroom sign Posted by Picasa

The reason I put this photo up is to share a good laugh with fellow bloggers. It is absolutely NOT intended to humiliate or offend anyone regardless of nationality and gender. Please hold your spamming...

I wonder has anyone thought of marketing such stickers for household use?

Friday, October 07, 2005

a needle in a haystack

It has already been 2 weeks now since I first posted "Wanted - My 6 lookalikes" . Till today I still have not received any positive leads from those who left me comments, but hey I deeply appreciate your kindness and efforts by leaving me your precious 2 cents .

Don't really know how much longer will I try before I call off this search(don't wanna bore you all and waste fellow blogger's money and time , yeah right ...) . Since we currently have 6.4 billion individuals on this earth, I have decided to give it a little more time and patient. One crazy dude, I am indeed!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Coal carrier


Coal Carrier

Posted by Picasa
Wang Zhizhong worked as a coal carrier. Carrying a basket of coal weighing 40kg (88 lb), he made his way up a 100m deep mine, and then walked a distance of 1000m along a mountainous track. For each trip, he made 1RMB (0.123 USD). He was 17.
Source: Unknown

Are you complaining about having too much work at the office, long hours , not paid enough blah blah blah? Think broader and you'll start counting your blessings. Learn something special here and not take things in our lives for granted. And yes, you can see that your 2 cents worth a lot to Mr. Wang.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

my R foot & R hand

Allright , humans can't do everything sometimes even simple stuff. Is this a fair statement? Well read the following and see what you can do(only for people who are sober please...). I tried it many times and just couldn't get it right. I wonder whether this has something to do men or women, you know the theory of how male and female brains are wired differently etc or there's actually someone out there who can do it right. Try it out and let me know!

Source: Not mine!!!!
How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.

1)While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction. I told you so .....And there's nothing you can do about it .
Make sure you pass this on to your friends...they won't be able to believe it either!!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

what's in this picture?


A cloudy day Posted by Picasa

It is so quiet here. I don't hear any birds chirping neither do I see trees waving back and forth. This is what we often need especially living in a busy and hectic world ... A time of solitude!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Quote for you

Do not complain if you have got nothing to offer. Duh! Stop whining ...

Saturday, October 01, 2005

by the way I'm still searching...


Apparently I have been told by people from different continents that there are 7 people that look a like in this world. Well, guess what...I have decided to find the other 6 that looks like me! Have you seen any of them or are you one of them?

明显地有人从不同的国家告诉我说, 这个世界里有 7 个人看起来是一样的。因此 我决定寻找其余的6六个长的象我的人! 您是否看见了任何一个或您是他们当中一个?

May I offer you a gum?

Great! The weekend is finally here.Will definately treasure the coming 48 hours and not waste them on something silly and meaningless. Har har har, so I say..

Anyway , I was out with some friends (not best buddies) this evening and boy oh boy, I tell you... one of them had such bad breath that could instantly kill a bunch of elephants. I wanted to offer him a piece of gum but I was afraid I would seriously offend him. So what did I do? I held my breath while he talked! Would you do the same? I tried to control the conversation by talking more.... but still, there were moments he had to intercept and boy did I hold my breath like an olympic swimmer!
Any suggestions for what other things I could have done?